Marik is Bothering Us-The Crack Fic
by Fire Inu Princess
Summary: something me and a friend wrote, later.


It was a beautiful day in Canada, it was beautiful, sunny and the scent of tacos filled the air. Why tacos you may ask? Well, myself and Bakura from Yugioh Abridged decided to go hang out and have some tacos at taco bell. Without Marik, why? I just don't like him, he's not evil and he's not a very good bad guy. There just wasn't a point in trying to hang out with a guy when he just claimed to be all that when really, he wasn't.

While waiting for our food to be made, me and Bakura were talking about the simplest of things. Like why he wasn't the head of the Evil Council or why he just didn't kill Marik off. Sadly, before we could even get to our food, an annoyance decided to show itself.

"Bakura, what are you two doing here? I thought you said that you were sick with swine flu." Said Marik as he walked into the store and glared down at both me and Bakura.

"Because we wanted to get the hell away from you." I said to Marik with a bored stare.

"But why Bakura we are the bestest of friends. We rule the Evil Council together!"

"No Marik, you're the one ruling the Evil Council doing the stupidest of things I've ever seen."

I could only stare at the two people argue back and forth and it just annoyed me to hell. Shaking my head, I pushed myself up and put my things down on my chair so that way Marik won't take my seat. Then again, if he did I'd just have to break his arms and legs. Making my way toward the counter, I grabbed the food and went back to sit down and looked at Marik as he kept on talking to Bakura to get him to leave the store.

Marik glared at the two of us as he said "why didn't you get me tacos? They are my favourite food!" I took a bite of my taco and looked over at Bakura wondering what he'd say.

"They are mine too Marik but we just didn't want to eat them with you."

"How dare you eat with someone else! I thought we had something special… but not in that way." Then he turned and glared at me with such hate that if it wasn't for the fact I wasn't fazed by that stare I would have been shaking right now. "You vile witch! I Marik Ishtar shall smite you with my Millenium Rod!"

"Oh, you mean this one here?" I asked while holding up the so called Millenium Rod.

Marik shows shock and confusion as he exclaims "how did you get my rod?!" I just snicker, and then it turns into a howl of evil laughter that even Bakura can laugh with. "What's so funny?!"

"I was a ninja in a past life, and I have retained all the skills I have."

"Holy frig you're a ninja?!"

"Yeah and now… this." With that said I grabbed the rod tightly in my hand and smacked Marik upside the head and left him to lie on the floor. "There, now we can enjoy our tacos and go somewhere else before he wakes up." I just held onto the rod before sipping at my pepsi, it was nice to be able to enjoy a meal without someone nagging at me and Bakura like this. It was just so annoying and it pissed me off to no end.

"So where do you want to go after this place?" asked Bakura as he ate his taco.

"An amusement park?"

"Alright."

It took ten minutes on walking the amusement park but it was worth the walk, and to get away from Marik. Though we just hoped that he didn't know where we were. Hell, it had surprised me that Marik knew where we went in the first place. Ah well, it didn't matter at this point anyway. Looking over, the young man that stood next to me was looking around as if trying to make sure that Marik didn't find us, which I kind of didn't mind of at the moment.

"We alone Bakura?" I asked with confusion and a hint of curiosity.

"Yes I do believe we are."

"Good, now we don't have to deal with Marik, let's just enjoy some rides and then head on back okay?" I said with a grin.

"Sounds like a plan." he said, it was amazing that he was British I swear…

With that said, Bakura and I went on some rides, having a blast of course. We didn't know how long we were there for though what we do know was that after the second roller coaster, we noticed one problem.

"There you two are. Do you know how hard it is to find you? There are like a thousand Bakura cosplayers out there." Marik said with his arms folded over his chest.

"Marik I don't think those were cosplayers."

For the love of god, I don't know how to get rid of him unless I say something that will make him cry… and I know just the thing. "Marik, you know what I have to say? You are absolutely, unsexy. You are the less sexiest man on earth!"

"How dare you! I am sexy! I am the definition of sexy."

"Yeah, you're as sexy as Gollum."

"What?!"

"How dare you compare me to that abomination! He is the most unsexy thing of unsexy things!"

"If I had to choose, between you and Gollum about who was sexy, I would pick-"

"Marik Ishtar!"

"Gollum!"

Marik screamed out in tears as he said "how can I prove that I am more sexy?!" He started to cry like a woman, so me and Bakura looked at each other trying to think on what we could do to get him out of our hair. There had to be something that would take all day to do though… maybe Bakura knew something I don't since I don't know shit about this kind of thing.

"Marik, if you want to prove to us that you are sexy, you'll have to do something."

"Like what?"

"Well, you'll have to…" Bakura looked around trying to find something that would get Marik out of our hair then he came up with something. "I want you to just into a ditch and look for a multi-coloured frog."

"What colours?"

"Well, they change colours from day to day so… try to find one that is red and black." With that said and done, Marik ran off to the ditch to look for the frog. Hopefully that will be the last time we'll see him for the day. Or even forever ha-ha.

"There that should keep him occupied, I don't think we even have multi-coloured frogs anyway."

"No, I don't believe so."

So over the next few hours, Marik kept coming back with many items that we didn't think even existed and now me and Bakura were desperate to get rid of Marik forever so we had one last task for him to do before we can finally get rid of him for good.

"Okay Marik, you have but one task left then you can be declared sexy."

"Really, what must I do?"

"You must take the blade from your rod and stab yourself in the face twenty times. Then, we will you what to do next."

"Want me to stab myself in the face?!"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"I shall do it oh Ms who determines who shall be sexy." With that said Marik took the rod from my hand and went off to start stabbing him in the face.

I turn to Bakura and stretch asking "think Zorc will help us get rid of Marik forever?"

"Well we could try. Zorc?!"

"Hello!" said a giant dragon-like monster with a dragon dick.

"Holy shit man cover that thing we're in public!"

"In the shadow realm we don't wear clothes. They don't normally complain about it in the shadow realm." Said Zorc.

"Maybe because we're not in the shadow realm." I said with a sigh. Looking back up, I said "we need your help to get rid of someone who is Marik. Just so you can have some fun, you can rape him two hundred times, bite him with your dragon dick then send him to the shadow realm where he can't bother us anymore."

"I can do that, but I just remembered I'm married to Marik."

"Okay if that's the case then think ofi t as Marik coming to move in with you to the shadow realm."

"I think that is a great idea!" said Zorc then he went off to go rape Marik, and bite then take him away.

I just grin ear to ear and cheer that we no longer have to deal with Marik. As me and Bakura walk away, we can hear Marik crying and screaming out in pain from his terrible butt rapping from Zorc which I have to admit must be painful because of him having a dragon for a dick. But, that is something I cannot control so therefore not my problem.

"You are a crazy woman."

"There was a reason why I was called Psycho Bitch in high school."

"Remind me to never get on your bad side ever again… never."

"Don't worry Bakura," I say while patting him on the back. "You are my favourite yugioh abridged characters, out of the bad guys."

"Thank you."

* * *

**just to let you all know this was done by me and my friend Monoprinny. He was really good with the voices of Marik and Bakura from LK's Yugioh Abridged series and bam, this fic is born. Later!**


End file.
